Why is THIS news?

First off, I’d like to take my hat off and give a giant bow of respect to the FBI and the NYPD. They went from abandoned, smoking vehicle in Times Square to a viable suspect in custody in a little over 48 hours. THAT, is police work. THAT was news.

Ok then, back to the matter at hand. I’ve been annoyed (more so than usual) by the things I hear in the news that make me go: “Why is THIS news?”

1. People coming out of the closet.
I honestly cannot give a flying fuck something that flies, if you’ve spent the last decades closeted. Really, Ricky Martin, I don’t give a shit. That’s like hearing: “Ending years of speculation, Angelina Jolie has issued a press release confirming, that she is in fact, a Gemini.”
Or “Hugh Hefner is straight.” Let’s be honest here, does it really make a difference? There is some country singer girl that came out this week, and honestly, I left NPR because I just didn’t want to hear it.

2. China.
This is not a joke. I am so tired of hearing in the news about every time China farts. Don’t misunderstand me; I am not one of those crazy isolationists that think “America don’t need nobody.” Far from it. I’ll show you my passport for proof. I love learning and hearing about other cultures, but NPR reports more on china than on our stuff (or so it seems). There was new report about some Chinese man that died. He knew how to make bird noises with his throat. I heard about it on NPR. I. shit. you. not. He wasn’t somebody that helped mankind in some way, nor a civil servant dying to save another, or something else that should merit mention. If this is how the rest of the world reports or reported on the U.S. in their own countries, I can see why American’s don’t tend to bode well in international circles.

3. The World’s Fair.
See China. But also, it’s irrelevant now. The World’s fair had its place in a time when countries needed a means to exchange ideas and impress upon other nations their technological knowhow. And it was a great idea and successful way of doing so. And then came telecommunications, and ultimately the internet. What the hell do I need a world’s fair when I can teleconference and see, SEE your demo from miles away? Call it another conference and move on. Dragon Con needs some competition, maybe the “World’s Con” is up to the challenge. Oh, and don’t let me go without saying that the amount of money spent on this thing is an absurdity the size of the cosmos itself. I mean, dear God (atheist, remember?) there are people literally DYING in Haiti, Chile, Nashville, and many other places. There is giant fucking oil leak just off the coast of Louisiana, but let’s put on a show measured in billions of dollars so that the world notices us. It’s like a little girl whining “pay attention to meeee”… Good job, we noticed.

Sorry for the long post. I know it’s out of character, but just felt bitchy for some reason. I know, try to contain the gasp. Let’s see if the media reports on this as well. Where is Chuck Norris when you need him to roundhouse kick some people?



Phew! Do you feel any better now? Oh and everything is better with Chuck Norris, so I'll leave you with this (it was written on a whiteboard at work a few months ago):

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72...and they're all poisonous.

The Alliterative Allomorph

Woof! Can I gasp for air now? ;) Your rant is understandable. You should check out Greek weather broadcast. It goes for fifteen minutes and the weather lady is half naked and makes sexual puns. Lovely. Actually, I might post about that on Monday :)

Wendy Ramer

Your chest must feel so much lighter now. And I hear you on the coming out thing. I'd never given much thought to the world's fair issue but you're right on that one too. Sometimes, it's just the right time to bitch. On a writer's note, I loved your phrase: "a flying...something that flies" ;-)

L. Diane Wolfe

I totally agree with you on the first one! I can also think of so many 'celebrities' who make the news (Paris Hilton) who haven't really done anything of value. Why are we hearing about them? Who cares!?

Michele Emrath

I hear you. And I second Diane's comment on Paris Hilton. I would be ok never hearing that woman's name again--or seeing her picture! Uck!

I'm usually pretty happy with NPR, so I'm surprised so much of your rant was about them, but they do like their Chinese stories...


Amber Tidd Murphy

I love it when you bitch. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

Ash. Elizabeth

Aha you couldn't be more right about these things!

Culture Served Raw

I have to agree on most things, besides China, though you do bring up some good points. Never apologise for a well argued rant!!



clearly they have already concidered all things and have to start over again with the bird sounds guy from china.

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