10.07.2009

Darth Query: How did this work?

10.07.2009
Seeing some of the stories that have become American classics, I got to thinking (yes, it DOES happen) what the queries must have looked like. Here is the best my [currently] inebriated brain could come up with. It needs no introduction, but perhaps only a little Query Shark help:

When Luke, a young farmer on the planet Tatooine, receives a message from a droid he recently acquired, he is thrust in the middle of an intergalactic war that has been waging for generations. With a guidance of an old hermit, strong in a force called, the force, Luke embarks in an adventure that will take him from the desolate deserts of his home world, to the desolate nomad spaceships of the interstellar rebellion. In a battle for the freedom of the oppressed people of the empire, Luke must battle an evil dark lord for the salvation of the known galaxy. Darth Vader, the dark lord of the evil galactic empire, maintains a tight grip and control of the multiple planetary systems in his realm, extending his fiendish rule over land and space.

In Han Solo, an intergalactic smuggler, Luke finds an unlikely ally in his fight against the tyrannical forces of Darth Vader and the empire. Together, with Obi-wan, the mystical hermit, they must find a way to destroy the ultimate weapon of submission. The Death Star. A moon size base that wobbles at less than impressive speeds toward unsuspecting planets and possesses enough firepower to destroy an entire world with a scientifically improbable death ray. In his journey Luke forges alliances that can help him become the new master of the unequivocally named “force” or perish in his attempt to destroy the forces of evil. Filled with teenage angst and a hint of incest, Star Wars is a 175,000 words, complete science fiction novel, ready to be submitted for your review.

Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Jorge Lucas

13 comments:

Tina Lynn

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Sierra Godfrey

"And a hint of incest." Ha ha ha!! This is great. Nice one!

Judith Mercado

Jim, you might want to read this link. It's a great description of what a query letter should contain. Good luck.

http://www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog/How+To+Write+A+Query+Letter+To+A+Literary+Agent.aspx

Amber Tidd Murphy

Sir Jorge Lucas,

You are so freakin' adorable. I love it when you drunkenly-blog!

quixotic

Thanks for a good laugh!

SJDuvall

Brilliant. Gave me a laugh today (and at work no less!)

Angie

Hahaha! Love it.

Regina Milton

That was hilarious. Thank you for sharing. I loved it.

L. T. Host

I love seeing things like this :)

Thanks for being inebriated and bringing it to us!

Travener

I think your average agent would say it's too long; your query's too long; you mention too many characters; and what the hell is a "droid"?

Elaine 'still writing' Smith

J.m. I was laughing from "Darth Query"

Roni @ FictionGroupie

As query shark would say: Form Rejection. This story will never go anywhere. :)

Jm Diaz

The shark actually thought it was funny, but it is a form rejection. It's missing the all mighty WHY! I love the shark.... She's the best.

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